That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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