Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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