They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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