just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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