He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
