R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
