I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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