Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
