i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
