Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
