Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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