Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
