Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
