I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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