she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
