i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
