I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
