He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...