You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
