I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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