I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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