just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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