My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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