You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
