just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
