if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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