There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
