I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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