i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
