she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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