apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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