It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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