just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize