Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize