I don't think brook has ever known best
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
