Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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