I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
