I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
