Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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