are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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