): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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