Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
