You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
