I skipped work to stalk him.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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