Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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