A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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