Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
