can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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