Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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