Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
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Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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