You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
