we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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