We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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