and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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