and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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