You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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