everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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