he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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