9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
