Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
