I want to have your abortion
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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