well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the day after is always just damage control
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
