She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
