as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize