I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
pop tarts are not kleenex
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
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